One small comfort if you are suffering from any hearing loss, you’ll never have to listen to music by Ashlee Simpson. Seriously, cherish that. Ashlee Simpson (AOL Music Live) by IvanTortuga via Flickr

So, what’s your excuse for not using hearing protection? The most common reasons that musicians don’t bother protecting their hearing are 1) fear of looking uncool while wearing earplugs, and 2) the inability to “feel the music” while wearing earplugs, since most inexpensive earplugs wind up making the sound muddy and soft.

I hate to break it to you, but those are both lame excuses. Worse yet, the consequences of not using hearing protection can come back to haunt you with hearing conditions that truly take away from your quality of life. There are 3 forms of hearing damage in particular that are of major concern

If my tone is less jovial than usual, it’s because I have to impart some wisdom upon you, my chickadees, on a topic which I have grown increasingly aware of and concerned about. There are 3 forms of hearing damage in particular that are of major concern:

Tinnitus. A constant ringing in the ears, tinnitus is a form of nerve damage which results in your ears perceiving sound when there really is none. Most people describe tinnitus as a ringing sound, although it can take the form of buzzing, pulsating drone notes, or some other equally distressing sounds that you just can’t get rid of. Although tinnitus can be treatable when it occurs due to other forces (allergies, certain medications, etc), there is really no cure for tinnitus that is brought on by hearing damage caused by loud music. It might not sound like much (no pun intended), but this can be a very tiresome and distressing condition.

If you are reading this and are ailing from noise-induced tinnitus that your doctor cannot treat, I recommend doing a web search for Tinnitus Retraining Therapy (TRT). From what I’ve read, that seems to be the best way to go. Although it’s not a cure, TRT basically teaches you to tune out the ringing in your ears the same way you tune out the million other background noises you deal with on a daily basis. There is help out there, and keep in mind that there are many notable musicians – Eric Clapton, Danny Elfman, Al DiMeola, to name a few – who live with this condition and continue to enjoy their lives and their music!That’s probably the most creative way I’ve seen to diagram the inside of the ear. Thanks, kid. Your Face Dissected: Your Ear by cmortimer1 via Flickr

Hyperacusis. If you break your arm, it’s going to be extremely painful to move it. If you burn your skin, even the wind blowing against it can be excruciating. And if you damage the nerves in your ears and suffer from hyperacusis, hearing normal, everyday sounds becomes painful and terrible to endure. (Man, this article is such a downer. I’m sorry. I just have to say this stuff…) Normal sounds like people’s speaking voices, the hum of the refrigerator, or running water from a faucet become a major ordeal, as the smallest sounds becoming deafening and painful roars. People who suffer from extreme cases of hyperacusis can’t leave their homes and can’t talk to people unless both them and the other person are whispering! There are success stories out there for getting over hyperacusis, and I highly, highly recommend reading this very long but amazing story to put all this talk into perspective: This is How Minor Overcame Hyperacusis.

Good Old Fashioned Hearing Loss. I don’t think I need to go into what it means to lose your hearing. Let’s just say that going deaf isn’t exclusive to the elderly.

Now that I’ve thoroughly scared you, let me tell you the good news: all of these conditions are 100% preventable! If you are a musician – of any kind, classical, jazz, metal – then go to a clinic or hospital and have custom earplugs made. It will probably cost you about $100-$150, but it is well worth the investment. Remember the 2 reasons why most musicians don’t bother protecting their hearing? This solution addresses both points. They are often times clear or flesh colored and are flush to your ears, so you don’t have to have bright orange pegs sticking out the side of your head. They also attenuate the sound evenly, so instead of hearing a muffled sound (like with foam earplugs) you hear things just as if the whole world were turned down a few decibels. In other words, you get the clarity and evenness of sound you crave, and the aural protection you need.

If you can’t get custom ear plugs, or you lose them or whatever, then make sure you at least wear something while you’re playing. Even foam earplugs are way, way better than nothing. And for about $20 you can get something pretty nice (check your local music store). Throw a few pairs in your instrument case, and make sure you never leave home without them. Consider them as essential a piece of gear as your picks and 1/4″ cables (or sticks, or SM58 microphone, or jawharp, whatever).

Even foam earplugs are way, way better than nothing.Absolute worse case scenario, and you have nothing at all…grab some TP from the bathroom, ball it up and stick it in your ears. I’m serious. It’s better than nothing. (Although, do be careful that you don’t get it stuck in your ears… I take no responsibility if you screw your own head up!)

Finally, if you’re serious about protecting your hearing then you’ll take your earplugs with you to concerts and anywhere else that will expose you to loud noises.

Anyway, I’m done being your mommy and telling you what to do and to look both ways before crossing the street. But I highly advise you take this to heart, so that you can truly enjoy every nuance of music and sound in general clearly, fully, and unobstructed by hearing damage for the rest of your lives. Ya dig?